Electoral Kombat!

I recently wrote a National Post review of Mortal Kombat, a game series which I was enamoured with during the formative larval stages of my geekiness. Blood soaked and liberally sprinkled with gratuitous T & A, the revamped Mortal Kombat is pretty much everything a crass dork-wad like myself could ask for in a video game.

Playing through Mortal Kombat, however, also got me thinking about another vicious no-holds barred battle: Canada’s recent election. In the political dick-measuring contest known as Democracy, Stevey Boy came out on top, but I can’t help but wonder who would have won in a mano-e-mano cage brawl, where quick reflexes and scissor-kicks are more important than being media savvy or a working knowledge of fiscal spending practices.

I’d put my money on Jack Layton. Sure, he looks like a retired 70s porn star and his health has been questionable as of late, but he’s scrappy – the kind of kombatant who lubes himself up with a few handfuls of Vaseline so his opponent can’t get a decent grip. Elizabeth May also looks like she could take a few Canadian Tire-grade plywood boards to the head and still deliver a Hadouken! dénouement to her opponent. Duceppe strikes me as a biter. Ignatieff, I suspect, would probably unleash a flurry of sissy-slaps, possibly while sobbing hysterically. Harper seems like the kind of dirty ground fighter who revels in delivering sucker-kicks to the genitals. Either that or he’d simply bore his opponent to death with one of his monotone speeches on finance reform.

In any event, watching the election results trickle in last night, I couldn’t help but draw comparisons to Mortal Kombat. I pictured a dazed and barely conscious Ignatieff, swaying dizzily on his feet while CBC News flashed FINISH HIM! on screen and a strutting Harper pulled off a fatality, tearing off Iggy’s eyebrows and strangling him to death with them. It’s painful to watch, yet you can’t look away.

Sadly, determining Canada’s federal leadership is left in the hands of voters rather than the iron fists of our politicians. Still, there’s always next election. Round 2! Fight!

A Well-Greased Brain-Eating Machine…

Turns out that a website is a lot like a zombie. If you don’t keep it moving and well fed it tends to get a little rotten and before you know it the whole thing’s reeking up the place worse than a Lady Gaga meat dress. Sadly, I’ve been a neglectful little geek wad these past few months - something I now plan to rectify by pumping in a fresh dose of pop cultural formaldehyde into the shambling corpse of Zombie Geek: The Official Website of Adam Volk. First up on the agenda is a whole mess load o’ new DVD reviews which I’ve written for the always sassy URBAN MALE MAGAZINE. You can also check out my recent Ottawa XPress interview with special effects artist Daniele Tosti, one of the lead designers on the amazing 3D boner jam known as James Cameron’s Avatar. If that wasn’t enough, I also have a few super-duper-ultra-top-secret surprise announcements coming out in the weeks ahead, not to mention more freelance journalism interviews, reviews and nerdy goodness from the demented, fun loving, brain hungry world of Zombie Geek!

Kevin Smith: Zombie Hunter

The inexorable march of Zombie Geek: The Official Website of Adam Volk continues, offering up more juicy pop culture musings and nerd-friendly shenanigans than you can shake a severed arm at. There’s also plenty of new material dug up straight from the pungent depths of the interweb. First up, there’s a number of new freelance articles including my recent review of the National Gallery of Canada’s Pop Life exhibit, a show which even Zombie Warhol himself would approve of. And if that wasn’t enough, I recently picked the delicious, delicious brain (BRAAAAAAAINS!) of legendary filmmaker and nerd auteur  Kevin Smith, with my interview available here. Of course, when it comes to Zombie Geeks even K-Smith couldn’t say which is worse: the stench of rotting flesh and formaldehyde or a typical Star Wars fanboy!

Zombie Geekgasm!

Do you like zombies? Do you like awesomely geeky things? *GASP!* Me too! We should totally hang out sometime and split a Lime Zima and listen to some hip hopping cassettes! In the meantime, perhaps you might enjoy a romp through Zombie Geek: The Official Website of Adam Volk. It’s chocked full of all sorts of bitchin’ things: from video games, to comic books, to screenplays and plenty of other undeaderiffic things! Also, be sure to come back soon because there’s going to be lots more Zombie Geek goodness crawling out of the graveyard in the weeks ahead!

Shamble On!

Yes, Zombie Geek continues to shamble along nicely. I’ve added in some new links in my Articles section and thrown in some images for the various Video Games I’ve worked on. Of course, like any recently reanimated corpse, the website is still pretty rank and wobbly on its feet, but I’m hoping to have things a little more presentable in the coming weeks. In the meantime, feel free to poke around. Because like a shotgun blast to a zombie’s head, things around here may be messy but they’re still full of gooey, geeky goodness…

Let’s Kick Start This Corpse!

Welcome to Zombie Geek: The Official Website of Adam Volk. After spending over a year rotting in the digital graveyard of the interweb, my website is shambling back to life, hungry for brains…brains…BRAAAAAIIINNNSSS!!!

I’m going to try to update the site as often as I can with news, images and  links to my work as a freelance journalist and screenwriter.  So feel free to take a look around. And remember: the only thing more terrifying than a geek is a zombie geek!